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Goodbye Cruel Pangea

19 June 2009 384 views 7 Comments

I have six words that are irritating me right now. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.  Ummm…does anyone see something very wrong here? Anyone? Could it be the simple fact that these mammals and dinosaurs NEVER co-existed together? Look, I realize it’s just an animated movie for kids. I even read a thread where someone was saying, “leave the time-lines for the classroom”. Sure, I mean I’m all for having fun and stretching reality a bit to entertain…but what about all those kids out there like me? The ones who only half listened in class and got a good portion of their knowledge from the ol’ moving pictures? What about those unfortunates who will think the damn dinosaurs came after the ice age!?

WARNING: Before you read further into my rant I feel I must let you all in on the secret that I am pretty damn sure that the characters find a pocket of surviving dinosaurs and that it’s not about them co-existing together on a normal timeline. That being said, I still find it cheap and lame and the use of the word “DAWN” is enough to make me rant anyway…so suck on it.

So yeah, DAWN of the dinosaurs implies that it is their time in history. This is when they began to walk the earth. It is their DAWN. Their beginning. Man had his DAWN when he started learning about fire and wheels and microwavable macaroni and cheese. So, how does this movie have the balls to use that word in the title of a movie that takes place 66 fucking million years after the actual DAWN of these creatures. There are two explanations: 

1. They don’t give two shits, like the title and know it will sell tickets.

2. They REALLY don’t give two shits and are actually ignoring history.

I’m pretty sure it’s the former, but if it does turn out to be the latter than I may just blow my top. If this is the case then I can already see the next string of these movies fed to young, impressionable minds:

Ice Age: The Dawn of Man. Ice Age: Hangin’ with Jesus. Ice Age: Meeting Ben Franklin. Ice Age: Vote Palin. And finally, Ice Age: The Four Horsemen.

Much love

Travis

  • Regamom3

    Rant on!

    Reggie

  • Tamsin-Emillie

    HAHAHA…Precisely what I thought when I saw the poster for it yesterday…I then saw the fact that it was 3D and it didn’t matter anymore…I mean COME ON, ITS 3D! (I have never seen a 3D film at the cinema and think this would be a fun one to watch lol FML)
    It is dumb though because I learnt/learn EVERYTHING I know from film and TV =/

  • Looserface

    I think this is a very accurate account of how many, as well as myself, view this upcoming movie. Lol

  • http://www.youtube.com/lunerrrrs Lunerrrrs

    All Blue Sky studios has is this and Horton Hears a Who! Robots was terrible…..

  • http://underdog.typepad.com Craig P

    This reminds me of how I felt when that Barnyard movie (and TV series?) came out and I ranted about how the male cow has udders. I mean, they probably made some self-referential joke about it at some point that I missed, but still, it just felt like another thing that will make our children ignoramuses. But maybe we’re overreacting. ;-)

    The sabre-tooth squirrel makes me laugh though.

  • Arion The Pedantic

    Travis, dear, puhlease,

    The DUSK of the dinosaurs was 65/66 million years ago. The DAWN of the dinosaurs was over 220 million years ago. But I like the idea of
    Ice Age: Vote Palin”.

    Good luck! You’re doing great stuff, keep it up!

    Ciao
    ~Arion

  • starnett

    Ha ha ha ha ha……I love this! You know I stumbled upon this today after wondering ‘Did dinosaurs and mammals co-exist??’.

    Now if I thought that and had to second guess myself (I have a degree and consider myself to be relatively well informed), you can bet your life on it that most of the kids think it IS true.

    They have stretched the truth waaay to far with this one, but I find myself not caring because these films are so funny. I just love them!

    Another recently that got me going is 2012…a cinematic masterpiece but a complete joke from start to finish! What a joke! And my niece now thinks she will die in a couple of years! WHat I found more funny though was that she said ‘Awww, we’ll miss Christmas!’ Now that tickled me! :O)