Darkness. There is noise, but not surrounding me. It seems to be coming from inside me, as if my brain was flicking around in a hundred different directions. It’s insufferable. My numb hands lift up off the imitation silk to touch my face, but instead they hit the ceiling. Feels like wood, but then my hands are numb so it’s hard to say. One thing is certain, the space I am in is tight. I guide my hands to my face and my cold fingers touch my eyes. They are closed, I can tell that much. They refuse to open, even when I pull at the lids. Starting to panic, the kid gloves come off. With my thumbs and forefingers I pry them open with great force, snapping the threads that had sewn my eyes shut. Darkness…still. The sounds in my head continue. They squish and scream, never slowing and never building. It’s maddening, but also inspiring. While there are no discernible words spoken, nor any true rhyme to their shrieks, I am still able to translate them. “Pull yourself out of this hole,” they yell. “Punch, claw, scoop, pull!” I listen because I have no other choice. I shatter my hand against the low wood ceiling, not expecting much, but then pleasantly surprised when I feel it splinter a bit. A few more thrusts and my hand rips through and the feeling comes back. It was wood! I can feel the jagged edges of the hole I just punched as they cut into my wrist. I can also feel the source of my imprisonment. The cold, wet dirt that weighs down on what I now understand to be my coffin. Larva. The noise inside my head. hundreds of infant flies, flipping their bodies back and forth as they find nourishment from brain. I am hearing only the sounds that they make. Squirming and eating. I know there is nothing I can do to silence them, but there is a way to soften them. Grabbing the newly made hole, I pull at it with my weight, breaking it around me as dirt fills in. I slowly begin to dig my way up, knowing that a simple six feet will defeat me if I am not careful in my pacing and thoughtfulness. You might think rising from the grave is a no-brainer, but you would be wrong. There is a science involved, and if your heart isn’t in it then you will drown with lungs full of earth. Not me. Not today. I scoop the dirt from above my head, then push it towards my feet. One handful at a time. Over and over again. Suddenly, my fingers break through, feeling a chill cut across their tips. Still in complete darkness, I can tell it is night. I lift my dead body out of the hole in which I put myself in so long ago. I drag it up, using my own name etched in stone as a pulley. My head hits the unkept grass with a thud, followed by the rest of me, my toes still dipped in the ground. I wiggle them, a smile streaking across my face. I keep my head on the ground and have a look around the graveyard. It’s more beautiful than I remembered. The dead, still living. The moon letting them glow. I was exhausted from the escape, but still had the energy to stand. The larva in my head still squished. The larva in my head still fed. Only now it was tolerable. Softened by the noise of a small wind. Softened by the noise of rustling leaves. Softened by the distant bark of a dog. Softened by the slight creak to the swaying, rusted gate. I smiled a deathly grin, but breathed the song of life.

Ummm...why is there a zombie in a ghost possession movie?

Production on my feature film, horror musical, THE DEAD INSIDE, is complete. We wrapped Saturday night, March 13th, 2010. For two days we finished up in a little house in the middle of 29 Palms desert. Production ended like it began; two actors, one cinematographer, one producer, one sound mixer, one make-up special effects guy, one costumer and me, your movie blogging director. For nine weeks I have been bringing you the updates from the set, and as I sit here typing out the final production blog, I am filled with satisfaction. Going over it all in my head reminds me why I do this in the first place. I have to, because the larva in my head can not be silenced, only muffled by life force that is art.

Our to-the-bone producer, Galy, standing in for the actors.

A new journey is about to begin. I will edit this monster, reshaping the story further. I am tingling all over with the thought of putting together everything we shot. You never truly know what you have until the editing begins, but I know this much; I worked with most talented cinematographer I have ever met and kissed. I had actors that took two very complicated characters and gave them life, causing me to occasionally have chills while watching over the monitor. I had a producer who worked until her fingers bled, but never once let her smile fall away. I had a make-up special effects guy who gave me his best even when I showed him my empty pockets. I had a composer whom I

I want Tom to do my make up at my funeral.

approached with lyrics, and whom produced ten original and completely awesome songs to shape the story. I had a sound guy, who had never done sound before but learned how to do it just for my movie…just because I asked him to. I had a costume designer who had zero time to do my film, but did it anyway, even when I flipped the schedule around daily. These were the main players. The folks that threw themselves together for two months in the name of cinema. It is because of these fine people that I was able to shoot the movie I wanted…or even shoot the movie at all.  Outside of the die hards there were also a

Galy, Aaron and Tom - 3 people I can't seem to make movies without.

number of people that kept this ball of awesome in motion. My executive producer who helped with all things legal and even scored us some important props, even though she’s crawling out of her own pile of projects. My good friends who allowed me to torture them for a few hours on a Saturday so that I could use their hands in my movie. My creative soul-mates who sometimes stopped by to bring our crew coffee. The other half of my tug who helped us out with vocal recording. There was even the cinematographers mother who so generously got our production rolling by investing her own money into our crazy dream. These good people may not have been on set dripping the blood some of us were, but they were still pushing us forward with all the same heart. Thank you.

The martini slate - Cinematographer Shannon Hourigan and myself.

The Dead Inside still has a ways to go before the general public can throw their eyeballs at it, but I hope many of you will continue on this journey with me so that when it is ready to watch, you’ll be part of its history. It is then I will be thanking all of you.

Much love

Travis

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Yes, we actually live here.

This weekend I climaxed all over my apartment. I started off nice and slow in the living room, then as the pressure built up I moved into the bedroom where I sprayed the end of the movie all over the walls, the bed, the floor, the bookshelf…the place got pretty coated. A mixture of rage, hurt, betrayal and blood oozed off the set this weekend in what was the last of the shooting we will be doing on the main set (Shannon and I’s apartment). There is still one weekend left of production, but that will be taking place in the films only other location. I’m looking forward to a change of scenery and tone, and I think everyone on the crew is as well. We’ve been closed in together on the same set for two months and people are ready to stretch their legs. My production beard is now frightening my girlfriend and she expresses fears that tiny trolls might have found refuge inside it. But shaving will have to wait, as I’ve made it this far. Don’t want to jinx it. One more week and I will finally go in with a miniature machete and hunt down those beard dwellers.

Tom Devlin pumping the blood on Lo.

Tom Devlin was on set this weekend! For those unfamiliar, he is the brilliance behind my make-up effects. He created the demons in Lo and the gore in joshua. When I make a horror film, Tom is my right hand man. Normally I’ll see his blood-stained face every day of production, but this time it was odd having him on set, which made me realize what a different kind of horror movie I was making. There are not  many effects involving make-up, but instead we’re packing the screen with mood and creep factor. That’s not to say that Tom’s work won’t shine! There is one thread through the story where you’ll see the Devlin magic loud and proud…but no spoilers for you!

Sarah Lassez faces her ghosts.

So here we are. The main story has been shot in its entirety. I’m sitting here writing this, looking back, but it’s all a bit of a blur. We busted our asses for two months and I feel in my heart we did something very awesome, very different and very special. After next weekend I will hit the editing and fall in love with the project all over again. It’ll be a tough job sifting through the performances and choosing the best, as we got so much good stuff! So I guess I should just close this blog down until next week when I can say we are officially done, and I can spill the rest of my guts out on the table.

Much Love

Travis

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If you keep up with The Dead Inside blog then you remember last Friday we ended up chasing the sun and then lost the ability to record sound. It was an awesome day in Hell, and one that Friday seemed to get off on because he decided to do it again (not sure why Friday is a dude).  On the schedule was a big musical number that required a psychiatric hospital bed. My Executive Producer, Jessica Petelle, secured us a kick-ass, old-school, nut-house bed with large white head and base boards. It was perfect. Our producer, Galicia Bloom, rented a truck and drove forty five minutes to the medical rental house. When the bed arrived I was a bit surprised at how large, heavy and WELDED together it was. We got it off the truck and carried it into the hall of my apartment,

Sarah Lassez captured by the beautiful cinematography of Shannon Hourigan

panting and sweating like it was the first time we’d ever used our muscles. When we got to the first set of stairs it was quite clear that this white monster of sleep was not going to fit. It wouldn’t even angle around the corner. I stood there for a long moment cursing the God’s of art. Then we packed it back into the van and sent Galicia back. Fortunately the gents running the place offered us the same bed disassembled. When she got back we were able to carry it up the steps piece by piece and put it together in the room. That worked out swell, if not for the fact it ate up a good portion of our day. When we finally did start shooting, we did about 7 takes of a master shot of the scene…then realized that the actor was not wearing the arm sling he was supposed to in the shot. Those are the dangers of shooting a feature film with no script supervisor. Everyone has to pay attention at all times to continuity. So we slung him up and re-shot. After that the day got better and we finished the song. Unfortunately by then we were out of time and not able to shoot the second scene I wanted to get done.

Bad things happen to good characters

Saturday and Sunday made up for it though. We got some really great stuff on Saturday including the scene we missed Friday. Sunday was also productive as we were able to reach back and grab a scene we missed a few weeks ago, as well as shoot one of the hardest songs in the movie. We knocked em all out pretty quick and I was very pleased with the results. I cut the crew early so people could go watch the Super Bowl and Shannon and I actually got a Sunday night off in well over a month. The weekend (even with the Friday hiccups) was a huge success.

We are now at the halfway point and things are seeming much less daunting. The finish line is actually in site and the footage we have gotten makes me squirm with delight. I’ll be happy to have my apartment back, but I’ve gotten use to living on set. Lights and C-stands have become part of the furniture and gels can make awesome coasters! This week I hope to really dive into some editing and really see how this movie will cut together. Once again I’d like to thank all those who simply read this blog, as it’s a great way for me to wrap up the shoots in my mind and move forward in order to deliver to you something original and fun! The Dead Inside is going to knock your socks off…so be sure to wear socks.

Much Love

Travis

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Sometimes I look like this on set

As I was driving to Taco Bell last night around 12:30am, I couldn’t help but think that driving delirious was eerily similar to driving drunk. The only real difference is that one is legal. We had wrapped about forty minutes prior, but should have shot for another hour. I decided the rest of the shots would have to wait when we filmed an entire scene (three times) in which I never once caught that my sound man (Aaron Gaffey) was taking up a portion of the right frame. I made peace with the fact we were in no shape to continue on and called it a night.

Pennywise from Stephen King's, IT. Started off scary, ended up a spider. Sigh.

It was a long, as well as physically and emotionally exhausting weekend on the ghostly set. In every production there’s gotta be at least one day that makes chewing on tin foil seem like your favorite thing to do. Friday was that day for us. Friday’s beast stepped through the door with balls the size of ____ (insert large fruit joke here). He was ready to shoot the shit of of things. The day started with a full on musical number that I thought would look cool completely done on a steadycam. With movement galore I set out to de-virginize myself with the hand-held stabilizer. It was harder than I anticipated and soon my arm was reminding me that I really didn’t have a lot of muscle mass. Shots took much longer than I had hoped and we ended up taking a generous amount of takes due to focus and movement issues. Because of that we were quickly losing daylight (which was important since we were shooting at the windows and we have no way of mimicing daylight through them due to the fact we are on the 3rd floor). So by the time we finished the number the sun was going down and the light had change considerably. While I am confident the shoot will cut together, there will be a lot of work in post to match the lighting from shot to shot. But whatever. We got it done and it will be swell. So we decided to move forward with the day. We had two scenes to shoot, and scenes require sound. Any movie-goer will tell you that sound is good in scenes. Go ahead, ask any movie-goer. So we set up for the first shot…but wait! The sound recorder isn’t working. It’s picking up nothing. Just white noise. Lovely. Gaffey fiddle’s with it for almost an hour. Tech support is also no help and stops talking to us because he’s “driving in the middle of a thunderstorm”. We’re at a loss with no real options but to cancel the rest of the shoot and hope that we can get the issue resolved by morning.

Audry 2 from Frank Oz's, Little Shop of Horrors. Best singing space plant monster ever.

Saturday’s beast slammed out of the gate, grabbed Friday’s beast by the shoulders and decapitated it with a single upper-cut. It then generously gorged itself on Fridays blood before taking a monster size shit down its neck-hole. My hero. Sound was back up and running (faulty XLR cable) and everyone was on top of their game. We started the day with another musical number. This time things went smoothly. We even got to play with some blood which is always a joy. After the song we moved in to one of the scariest scenes in the movie. I was nervous going into this scene because it really had to be handled right. The end result had to be terrifying and I had no clue what to expect. Just a few shots in and my mind was breathing a sigh of relief. It was looking amazing, and one of the shots even made me jump! The day ended later than usual as the scene was meaty, but we rocked it.

Pumpkinhead from Stan Winstons, Pumpkinhead. Bad-ass, revenge laced monster.

Sunday’s beast walked through door with a sleepy confidence and shook Saturday’s beastly claw. “I’ll take over from here” it snorted. The shoot the night before left everyone in a bit of a foggy state, but it worked perfectly for the tone of the first scene we shot. After that, energy returned and we set up for one of the more emotionally draining scenes in the movie. Lots a tears and dark truths revealed. The actors both had to really bring their A game to this scene and that can be a very nerve-racking thing for a director. There’s a careful balance of making sure they are able to get into the right mindset and knock out a great performance while also trying to make the scene technically awesome. The more shots you compose the more time passes and the more the actors lose the intensity. So it’s a tricky dance, but one that is well worth the results when done right. That being said, we succeeded. I got my shots and the actors brought what they had and even a added a few extra spices I didn’t know was in their rack. Nice work lady and gent! After we chewed the scenery on that lovely scene I decided that since we still had some time we would try to get some fallen brothers we’d left behind in the madness of previous shooting days. We quickly knocked out a bedroom scene and then moved into the office…and this is where this blog began and the shoot came to a crashing end. Everyone was drained. The shoot had to stop.

Here I now sit. Monday morning at my desk job. I’m oddly considering a second cup of coffee, which is very uncommon for me. I sit here pondering a question, and that question is this; what unknown universe am I living in, where my days off are spent at work?

Much love

Travis

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Fuck vampires. Screw werewolves. Frankenstein can suck my left testy while the mummy can slobber on the right. Zombies can take a long drag off a short pier and aliens can go to Hell (cause they’re not in the bible)! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each of these creatures dearly. I’m a horror fan after all. But if we’re talking scary…if  you want to know what kind of beings make my blood freeze…it’s ghosts.

Strange since most tales, legends and theories of these entities leave them pretty much harmless to the living. So why am I so afraid of a wispy outline in which the worse they can do is watch me sleep? Perhaps it has something to do with my fear of death…or better put, my fear of AFTER death. Zombies are just reanimated flesh sacks. The former tenant has been evicted from the body long ago. With ghosts it’s a whole other story. They still represent the actual person. The human being who walked the Earth, had dreams, fell in love, shared laughs. That same human being is now dead, but lost. Tormented. Wandering about, often confined to certain walls. Confused. Scared. Lonely. I guess if I believed in Hell (which I do not), then being a ghost would be just that. It’s you, but you’re missing the essential elements that made you you….or something like that. A concious being who can no longer feel joy or love, (we ain’t talking Casper here folks) but longs for both. Something that remembers who it was, but now is only what it is. Tormented and trapped.

Ghosts are like a mirror from the future. They have haunted my world to show me my reflection. They are a constant reminder that one day I will not be here. They are the sad that infect the happy and they can never be killed. Every day they grow in numbers, and they always will. If ghosts really do exists then you’re probably sitting on one now.

Vampires, werewolves, zombies…sure, you don’t want to bump into them. But to me it’s not what these monsters can do to you that’s terrifying, but what they can turn you into…a fucking ghost!

Much love

Travis

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About two and a half years ago my girlfriend hopped on a jet skiing kangaroo and relocated herself from down under, sweetly planting herself into our lovely one-bedroom apartment. At the time I was in the final post-production stages of my latest film, Lo. She was hot off the Melbourne gallery scene where she showcased and sold her photography. It seemed we had both eaten a lot of dirt and were preparing to shit out pearls…but we didn’t. Instead we found that we really enjoyed living together and because it was the beginning of our new life, we took some unintentional time off our art forms. In a way, the excitement of living together for the fist time replaced that gnawing need to create. It was a very full experience and one that not only required a lot of time but was at its best when fully immersed. So art would have to wait. And it did.

Present day. A knock at the chest. “Hello? Who’s there?”

A couple years went by and the two lovers formally known as artists decided it was time to get back to doing what it is they did. Create. Easy-as-pie…Commando war-zone pie. We tried (oh, we tried) to get back on our game. Shannon longed to figure out a new series to photograph, while I sat down at my computer a number of times only to hack up some of the worst drek I’ve ever written.  What the fuck happened to us? It was as if our muses had long packed their bags and hopped aboard a moving train. She was gone. Dried up. Never to return? Sweet Jesus!

Lo was, at the time, doing the film festival circuit. Shannon and I traveled to a few cities and I showed off the movie I was inspired to make three years prior. While the acceptance we received was very positive, I still couldn’t figure out how to get re-inspired. Where the hell did that Muse go and who was she fucking?!? I’ll kill um both!

Boston Underground Film Festival. We eat, we drink, we screen Lo. When it’s all over we head up to New York City for a few days of adventure. There we were in Shannon’s favorite city when she is smacked in the face with a terrible cold. She spent most of our time in NYC in bed. On the last night of our trip, we were both sleeping soundly when I was awaken by one of the creepiest sounds I have ever heard. A moaning. NOT the “Oh yes, right there. That’s the spot you animal!” type of moaning. This was the, “Hello, travis. My name is the Devil” type of moaning. And it was coming right out of my sleeping girlfriends mouth. Inhale. Moan. Inhale. Moan….

At first I dismissed it as her having trouble breathing due to the cold. We arrived back home in California and I forgot all about it…until that night. I was awaken once more buy the moaning from the night before. Only this time a little louder. Only this time a little creepier. For almost a week I endured this. Some nights I would watch her sleep and moan and the thought (the serious thought) went through my mind that she might be possessed. There were nights it spooked me so bad I had to sleep on the couch.

Finally it stopped. Both of us were relieved. Then…a knock at the chest. Can you believe who it was? Both of them. Standing there! As if they had never left. Shannon took hold of her muse and I hugged mine. Together, in beautiful harmony they whispered, “ghost possession musical”. I sat down in front of the glowy screen that had been giving me such pains. I sat down and attacked the keyboard that had forgotten how to string a sentence. I sat down with my inspiration intact. I sat down and wrote, The Dead Inside.

Cheers to the final day of pre-production. Tomorrow Shannon and I step behind the camera and begin, what I am confident is, a very long and inspired lifetime of creating.

Much love

Travis

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I felt a bit guilty last night when I went to bed leaving Shannon (my cinematographer/lover) still working hard on the set of THE DEAD INSIDE. She had been busting her ass all day getting things ready for our Friday start date. I too had been working very hard but in a slightly different way. I couldn’t focus on a single task in front of me because I was mentally exhausted.  Two days until we go to camera and there is one fraking sequence I just can’t wrap my head around…and it’s the one we need to shoot first!

I’ve tried everything. I even took a walk at 11:30pm last night to clear my head but it did me no good. Now I am starting to think I may be over-thinking, which is just as deadly. The problem is I have the crust, I’m just lacking the filling. I see the scene in my head but the execution is off at the beach or something cause I can’t find it. To quote my own movie, “I type, I read, delete and think. Please tell me God’s of art…” It’s a funny little thing when you write an entire movie about the horrors of inspiration and then experience the fuck out of those horrors.

All that being said, I’m super excited to start shooting. It’s been almost three years since I’ve shot a feature and I could ask for no better experience than to work with woman I love most on a musical horror. We’re making something special because we are making this together, and it’s that fact that allows me to breathe a little easier about the haunted sequence. I know that even if I show up to set with no clue how to shoot it, we’ll figure it out right then and there and it will be awesome.

Now if you will excuse me, there’s still a few shafts of hair sticking out of my head that need pulling.

Much love

Travis

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Can ghosts shit their pants? I mean even if they were wearing pants they would be made of the same paranormal goo that the actual ghost was made of. So if one were to believe that a ghost could even (or need to) take a shit, that it would fall right out its ghost ass and through its ghost pants. But even then, the shit would be a ghost as well, so shouldn’t that fall straight through the ground, out the other end of the Earth and on into space?

Well, I’m not a ghost, but I am shitting my human pants a little, because this is the last week of pre-production on my ghost possession musical, The Dead Inside. It’s not that I’m scared. I’ve made three features before this. It’s just I always get this way right before a shoot. All the last minute details. All the money we don’t have but desperately need. The gnawing doubts about artistic choices. It’s enough to force the poop from my ass and into my jeans. I guess we should just call it an all encompassing energy.

The Dead Inside begins official production this Friday. From this point on you will be getting these blog updates on the status of the film, along with photos and video to wet your whistle. I hope you’ll enjoy the journey as much as we will. I can’t tell you how excited I am to start 2010 off with such a bang! The test shoots we performed on Saturday proved that we will, in fact, make a great film. I look forward to sharing it all with you, and then one magic day in the near future having you watch the dream in its entirety.

So here we go. Ghost turds be damned, this is gonna be a wild ride.

Much love

Travis

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